Existential Kink

Whether you put the work into implementing this program or not you should come out ahead just from getting a foundational understanding of the concepts in Existential Kink. While the New Age movement has us chasing good vibes and thinking only positive thoughts, Existential Kink presents a practical way to take all the heavy, low vibration stuff in our shadows that we simply CANNOT shake off and gives a relatively simple way to approach them with unlimited inward curiosity, compassion, and healing acts of radical self acceptance. Thereby loosening their grip on us and lightening their vibrational load so we can carry more of the love and light that attracts better manifestations. That’s the LEAST this book can do. Examples of hard-to-shake low-vibe stuff that can really throw a wrench in our manifesting magic: those immature and cyclical habits with money and relationships that feel so heavy and inescapable, feeling trapped in circumstances, enduring epic life failures, persistent superficial perceptions that fuel judgment and assumptions, anything that triggers a negative adrenaline response that feels like righteous anger (but looks more like road rage), obsessive meaningless ambitions to prove something, replaying unpleasant conversations in the mind, the weird feeling of satisfaction from being justified and right regarding your knowledge of something particularly awful that you *should* rather be wrong about, feelings that are painful to suppress that lead to passive aggression, resentment, irritation, frustration, disrespect, a desire to argue; and repressed feelings of shame that underlie deeply rooted physical, mental and emotional anguish, like the feelings of ugliness, humiliation, self hate, and traumatic memories of abuse and abandonment that paralyze our courage and hijack our self control, causing us to repeatedly desire the very things that we know we’ll forever regret... at the very least, you will finish this book with the curiosity you need to raise all those vibes even just a notch, which can be all you need to resonate and magnetize better things, situations, people and outcomes. Go for it!Update:It’s been a couple years and I will say this really stayed with me. By understanding my own human and divine nature I have been able to catch myself before falling into the traps of my own triggered responses to people and events that used to lead me down a predictable path of blaming, judging and resenting others. Because once I could see and love myself as I am, it was self evident that underneath our own self judgement, shame and denial, at the root is the truth that we are already worthy, warts and all. I suddenly perceived others whom I would typically fear, blame or judge much more neutrally. And out a genuine loss of interest in feeling unworthy, I chose to no longer follow my old impulses to explore all the negativity, pride or insecure feelings when others trigger them in me. I remember that only I can suppress my own joy. So it’s more and more often that I truly can’t be bothered and instantly let things go out of sheer disinterest in engaging with the negativity and it simply disappears. But when it doesn’t just disappear because some bit of negativity seems stuck in our energy, I have a keen sense to feel it lingering because it’s so rarely there anymore. In that case, I bravely approach the heart of the matter with vulnerability and love. I no longer allow things to fester in my relationships. I instantly confront the other person with all the love, patience and curiosity I learned to give myself, knowing that they are not wrong to have whatever feelings they have and showing them that I care enough about them and our relationship that I won’t pretend that I don't notice their passive aggressive behavior or allow myself to become bitter with resentment. I remain courageously loving, respectful and considerate no matter how they react so we can make a decision together about how to proceed in a way that honors ourselves while respecting the other, knowing that this is a boundary for me. I am willing to kindly part ways if I truly find it best, granting them forgiveness as I do so. My own personal choice to remain free from festering negativity and my willingness to honor my boundary even if they don’t (by parting ways) tends to garner a great deal of respect from the other person and I am given their gratitude, honesty and relief. And I’m okay if one day it didn’t, because it would help me understand it may be best to simply forgive them and let them go anyways, at least until they are also on a more mature path and seek nothing more but to express their understanding of my decision. That has happened too, with very satisfying results.

At first I don’t think I got it, but the more I read the more it made sense. By the time I reached the end of the book, I really felt like her ideas were sound and thoughtful and helpful.I found the exercises useful. I was glad she gave examples of how to proceed with them though as I wasn’t always sure of what she wanted me as a reader to do.At the end, in the Q & A, she said a few things that definitely made me feel better about the whole process too. I was worried that I wasn’t getting it, but her final words really caused everything to click in.If you’re looking for a book that’s going to take the ideas of manifestation and turn it on its head then this is the book for you. It talks about the Law of Attraction and positivity but also your shadow and why that’s so important. Definitely recommend.

I found this book after reading the review of it on Sasha's Substack, which is a great introduction.To be totally honest, I felt like the quality of the writing and the organization of the book could have been better, but I absolutely must give this book five stars because the philosophy in its pages has changed my life for the better.The author's style is a bit sassy and yes, overtly sexualized, but I suppose a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.Carolyn Grace Elliot, the author, describes herself as a student of Carl Jung, and quotes him saying, "Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate." Many of us have heard this quote, but CGE articulates a philosophy of living and practical exercises to "make the unconscious conscious".CGE's words aroused my curiosity as there have been a lot of things in my life that I have wished to change, and the philosophy and exercises in the book actually did, in a very practical way, make me aware of previously unconscious beliefs, attitudes, and habits. On one occasion, I actually experienced a rather beneficial vision of sorts while practicing one of the exercises. What really amazes me about Existential Kink is that when I have an experience where I discover some "unconscious" thing, it doesn't feel like learning something new, but it rather feels like suddenly becoming aware of something I've always known.Being a queer and neurodivergent person, I have experienced a lot of emotional trauma and isolation in my life, and the philosophy and exercises laid out in Existential Kink have become indispensable tools in my quest to build a life more worth living. There are few books that have made such a positive impact on me, and by extensions, my friends and loved ones, than Existential Kink.That being said, my friend who referred me to the review on Sasha's Substack said that Existential Kink didn't work for them, so your mileage may vary.I thank Carolyn Grace Elliot for writing this very helpful book, and I hope that she will provide more wisdom and insight in future books!

My main takeaways from this book revolved around Being honest about your subconscious programs and the dark side of you that is cocreating behind the scenes. The author makes a solid case that by ending the resistance to the unflattering shadow self, you free your energy up to do other things. You allow yourself to be more totally. It may take some folks a little while to fully integrate the way she frames it, especially if you follow a more mainstream understanding of Law of Attraction or a different paradigm. This book challenges your self perception and pushes to look at yourself as a kinky, wild, untamed being who likes the suffering you’ve been manifesting in order to empower self to create change. My initial reaction is that the packaging won’t resonate with everyone, but the source of her message is pretty sound. In short, if you feel drawn to this book, it’s worth reading. If you don’t, then that’s okay too.